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#5331
Logic55
Participant

Hi Lily,

I think i was mostly annoyed that I let myself fall back into the trap. I know the signs I know what to look out for and I know what he is doing. And i let the gambling effects affect me again.

Boy your post came at the right time. CG was all excited to make plans for the weekend so i had to tell him i was at home for the weekend and for my interview. He brooded on it all night and basically gave me an ultimatum – him or the job. I pointed out that I was going for an interview and nothing has been set in stone yet. But without him there is no reason for me to be where I am at the minute and he doesnt want and cant work towards a future with me.

So today has been very much toys out of the pram. And you are right, its because I’ve upset the balance.

I love that lighthouse analogy! its so true. I spent such a long time either being the one who wanted to save him or not understanding why i wasnt enough to make him want to stop.Obviously, i know better now.

My CG always responds best to me being strong and thats what i need to keep doing. Maybe he will want to be better, maybe he will see me as moving away as being a step too far and go backwards.

The car. He has told me he wants my help with it all as I’m much more organised and I’m good with this kind of stuff. He wants me to have the money, but already the excuse is that his manager hasnt released the money so he wont get paid it today.

He was cooking last night and told his mum he had spent £150 in the pub last week. she asked why i wasnt doing more to take the money off him to stop him going to the pub. which is a bit unfair. i refuse to be the fun police to my CG. I’m not financially reliant on him. I dont need his money so if he wants that reigning in, that needs to come from him. I have no intention of telling him what to spend his money on.

I am being kind to me, Lily and Friday is giving me a focus.

Logic x