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Hi Logic
The F&F group is between 20.00-21.00 hours UK time / 8pm – 9pm British Summer Time. The best way to enter a group is to click on the Helpline and scroll down at 20.00 hours or 8pm and click F&F where it says ‘join’. The group can also be found under Support Groups but only the ‘F’ can be seen as another group is running at the same time and it is tricky clicking the ‘F’ – at least I think it is!!
I am glad that having read Vera’s post you have seen things from another extremely honest and relevant perspective because I have been struggling to see a good outcome for your relationship when I read your recent posts. You seem to accept that your CG has no intention of giving up his addiction but sometimes you seem happy to accept it. Does the indecisiveness come from reading posts like Lilly’s and mine where there was an eventual happy outcome because if so what you are missing is the days, months and years of pain that it took for us to get to where we are now.
CGs do make it look easy – if they didn’t and they were not charming people nobody would ever enable them. With their addiction they are often the life and soul of the party but take the addiction away and you can be left with a very quiet, introverted thinker. I knew a woman in Gamanon who wanted her husband to go back to his addiction because she found him boring without it!
You ‘know’ that your boyfriend is a CG but I think you are unaware how far down he and his addiction can pull you. I didn’t enable for 25 years because I was in a dream and I didn’t wear rose-tinted glasses, I hung on through ignorance first, then shame and finally fear and as it turned out I had every reason to fear.
It took a parting of the ways for my CG to spiral into a black and terrible abyss that eventually resulted in him at last ‘wanting’ to control his addiction. It took me a very, very long time and many Gamanon meetings to begin to get a half decent life together. I finally entered a course of study of the addiction to gamble to try to make sense of my experience. Having added knowledge to my experience I was able to join GT.
Take more care of yourself Logic, don’t let the new job be an excuse to let a negative situation drag on – this addiction has nothing good about it when it is active.