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Its so easy to get sucked back in if you are still mentally available and it so hard not to remain so when you love someone. I have found if you fill your mind with other things and I am not talking clutter here, I am talking things you love, things that make You feel good, then it is much harder to be led back to a negative situation like this. You know enough to know he is not going to of gone into recovery over night and that he is likely missing his crutch, the stops him hitting rock bottom, that crutch is you. The problem until he has hit rock bottom he will have no desire to change, any abstinances will be because he is out of cash as time goes on and urgers get stronger he may resort to less legal means to get the money (although not all do).

It may be for you the only way to give yourself a little perspective is to put that physical distance between you, being there for them and being full of the drama that creates and the urge to save can become just as much of an addiction to us as the gambling is to them. Leading by example, consitancy and not allowing the addiction to permiate our lives is the best thing we can do for them and is the best thing for us too. I know you know this and I think that is one of the reasons you are making this move but much like with your partner and his abstinance being conditional on him having no money and not being true recovery, you not slipping back into old patterns can not be solely reliant on distance alone. But if you find that thing whether it be running, horse riding, dressmaking, scuba diving or whatever that makes your heart sing and gives your life joy and purpose, then it will help you on to the road to recovery and thinking about the situation differently.

I am struggling to find the time to post regularly at the moment but I am thinking of you you can be sure, Take care of YOU, Lily x