I apologise Lorraine for misunderstanding part of your post. I tried to read between the lines and misread your meaning.
I’m sometimes very wary about giving advice, because I feel that if I can’t handle my own life then what makes me qualified to give others advice. I think it’s because I’ve been there and bought the T-Shirt a thousand times that I seem to relate and recognise other peoples situations much clearer than I can see my own.
I hate seeing others struggle on here and in general and wish I had a solution to every problem, but I’m just not qualified sadly. However, I can’t help myself from offering support whenever and wherever I can. I’m sure someone more qualified than me will come up with some ideas for you.
You seem to be alone in your struggles and the simple things like a good hug and a cup of coffee with someone who can relate to and understand you is all we need to help us sometimes. I can only imagine how hard it is to have the burden of this addiction and to then have to be strong for off spring and family too. I find it a struggle just being strong for me at times, so I really do feel for you.
I can only suggest that you call an old friend or two if that’s possible, maybe one that you used to hang out with and instigate a coffee meet so that you can have a good chin-wag. It’s escapism you need by the sounds of it, something that breaks up the everyday routine. We all need that! We all know that we used to look in the wrong place for escapism in the past i.e. the gambling world and it is hard replacing that once we stop.
Maybe look up local activity classes or groups? It’s something I will have to do at some point. We all need something that’ll get us back into circulation and mingling again, a distraction. Speaking for myself, I found gambling such an unsociable activity and it does erode our social skills bit by bit. It’s not easy remembering what to do to get to know new people again.
In the meantime there are some fantastic people on here, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that and please keep posting. I want to give you as much support as I possibly can and I’m sure others more capable than me do too.
Sending you a big virtual ((((((((H U G))))))))) and keep your chin up, we will all get to where we want to be by supporting each other whichever way we can.
Have a lovely day.
Charlster