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Yes, from what you describe you are a CG or a problem gambler. However, that is not who you are, it is a destructive behaviour we all took on for whatever reason, and you know, you can emerge from it a better person. Recovery is possible. I think all CGs understand isolation and loneliness as we all have the propensity to isolate ourselves. If you cannot tell your family how about joining us in the group chats we have every evening or join charles new members groups on a Monday and Thursday evening. You would be Most welcome and it is a supportive group. One thing we all know is that we cannot beat this addiction alone and I would recommend getting counselling support to help support you and understand the triggers and reasons why you gambled so compulsively in the first place. There are always underlying reasons.
Some of us have done the gma women’s programme which we all found helpful and remain gambling free, for me 2 years and eight months. It is possible to break even the worst gambling habit. First, we have to accept that we are powerless over gambling, once we accept that then we can make the moves to stop and recover. Keep posting and I hope to see you in the chat some time.