Thanks for going in and commenting on my post!
With my SO the good news is I don’t get a lot of the blame part of the CG cycle. She knows better than to blame me, or others for that matter for her decisions.
I think for the most part I will be able to detect her progress in recovery because doesn’t it really all come down to actions? I’m a very observant person and I’ll know if this is for real or not just by the way we deal with this. If it’s for real then she’s going to take the initiative, I won’t have to push for it. And yes in my mind, like you, it’s a about changing things not just once, but repeatedly, consistently, over a long period of time, which is what I shared with her last night.
The good news (for both you M and V) is that she didn’t go to the casino today. She held to her word. Which of course, for today I’m relieved, happy about, and most certainly proud of her for. The question is, will she maintain that same behavior every time, consistently over a long period of time. Only time will tell, but at least for today she didn’t go.
I’m doing my best to try and stay out the way, and to not drive the ship so to speak, this has to be her taking the initiative, her having to make it a priority, her having to actually be the one to come up with the solutions and I will support, not the other way around.
But for today, it was a good day. The next big test will be the next time she’s in that same area near the casino, will she repeat what she did this time? I don’t know, we’ll see!