#3640
velvet
Moderator

Hi Madge
It was great to get update, so thank you.
I always understood very clearly how important your family is to you so I know how hard it must have been for you to ask your husband to leave but why you found in necessary to do so.
As we have always been open in our discussions, I am aware that you husband’s problems do not relate just to the addiction to gamble which is all I can justifiable comment on but I am delighted to read that your husband is having CBT therapy and also getting support from SA and GA. He certainly sounds as though he is trying to deal with his various difficulties. It is especially heart-warming to hear that he is finding an empathetic side to his nature which implies the CBT therapy is going well.
This forum is, of course, more about ‘you’. I sense from your post that you are a much happier person, getting help in the house, help with the children, communicating with your husband and even planning dates – what a difference from your previous posts.
I have to admit that I am concerned that you feel the need to be the detective to such a degree – it doesn’t sound healthy for you so I am glad to read you feel this is something that has a goal and an end in sight. I am amazed that he has been willing to have a GPS tracker on his phone but if this is something which you both agree is supportive to his continued well-being and yours then I can only say I hope it has the desired effect. I know you are both dealing with so much more than just the addiction to gamble so of course I cannot judge (and would not).
I don’t remember whether I knew your husband suffered from sleep apnoea but as many problems stem from sleep issues, I am glad these are being addressed. It seems to me that your husband is getting support from all directions and for both your sakes I am so pleased to hear it.
Your last paragraph is wonderfully positive – it is so easy to feel that working on someone else’s happiness is the most important thing while over-looking the thing that matters most. If you are not right then all the support in the world, that your husband is getting, will not be enough for you to have the relationship that you want.
I hope to see you posting more often; it was lovely to see you back supporting San.
It is easy to remember you and I will always be listening
V