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I want to write allot but I though if I write a quote might explain better what I want to say . So here it is

Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be

Alan watts

I am glad you are in much better mood and still gamble fee , your life will be so much better now and stronger . Live your life to the full without anything controlling you . I would suggest to listen some of Alan watts lectures on you tube it’s pretty interesting . X