I normally post on F&F, actually I don’t really post anywhere any more! but I still read frequently and have been following your struggle with interest.
I would like to wish you well with your ongoing quest for recovery and all the very best for a life changing experience in GMA.
It must be hard not to keep reliving what this addiction has done to yourself and your relaitionships and keep looking back with regrets unless it serves as some sort of re-enforcement of course.
But just a little word of encouragement from me, there is nothing worse than watching someone you love destroy themselves, money also becomes somewhat insignificant in the scale of things.
All I ever wanted was to see the person I loved get well again, be happy again, with or without me, despite having at times a strong desire to knock him on the head with something ! Although we are now apart, I would still want that for him, the various incidents etc seem strangely not very relevant. It would have been enough for me to have seen a fight or a struggle going on.
So what I am saying (badly !!) is that you are doing all of that, you are trying, struggling and doing what you can do right now to get well and I hope go on to be happy, these actions should speak volumes and they say so much that is positive about you.
I for one take my hat off to you and wish you every success
Jenny