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Hey Monica, all your messages have been very nice to read. You sound like youve had your fair share of experience and also obstacles in your life so its very inspiring for me to read.

Ive been thinking of reaching out in prayer for a long time because i come from a christian upbringing and have found a few times during my life when things were very bad, i i reached out to god and everything eventually fell into place and worked out in the end. Something holding me back is i didnt want to do it like that again, it makes me feel like i only decide to learn more about god or start praying when things arent going good for me when i i should be learning when things are good and i dont anything in return. Feel like its a selfish act on my behalf like im just doing it for someone to bail me out, not on purpose but subconsciously.

Im gonna read through this entire thread to see what i said back when i was more active. Thanks for sharing personal info about yourself to help me in my situation. I appreciate it more than you know. Do you have any threads yourself on here that i can read through read more into your journey?