It is indeed hard not to take the lies and deceits personally but it is important to remember that his poor behaviour is not as a result of something you have done or said.
A CG doesn’t change the instant he/she begins therapy – it takes time for them to accept responsibility for the behaviour that accompanies their addiction and indeed it is very hard for them to do so. Telling you to be more understanding is typical and not worth becoming emotional over – he is blaming you because he is still unwilling to blame himself.
I suggest that you safeguard any money you have access to in your name alone – for the protection of you and your child. Even if your bf is now in therapy it is unwise to trust him. The girl your bf has borrowed money from is not your responsibility – unfortunately people who ‘lend’ money to CG are not doing them any favours and when they don’t get their money back it should be between them and the CG. I cannot tell you what to do but personally I would not get involved with this person in any way. In ‘not’ clearing your bf’s debts you will be doing the right thing for him.
It might not seem a great deal, but the best way you can ‘be there’ for your bf is to look after yourself and your child first.
Keep posting – you have done well starting your thread – the first post is always the hardest.