Hello again – I hope you got to speak ‘live’ to someone. If not, hang on in there and keep posting and reading on here.
Maybe your partner is being honest or maybe he is very confused and angry, struggling to come to terms with his addiction. I just want to reiterate the message about concentrating on yourself. I appreciate your love for your partner and that that feels the biggest thing in your life, but I wonder what are the other things in your life that are good for you? Maybe things and/or people you have let slip while you have been pre-occupied with your partner and all the problems around his addiction? Can you try really hard to let him go a little (I don’t mean the whole relationship, just in your mind and in what you are doing at this time) and focus on something/someone that helps you or has helped you in the past? When you can strengthen yourself quite separately from the addiction, you will have greater capacity to cope with what it (and your partner) throw at you. He is being cared for in rehab. You need to be cared for in the ways that are good for you – and the person to get that going is you.
Best wishes,
Monique