Hi Nervemitten and welcome to the Forum. Well done on looking for help. We are actually lucky these dyas – there is a lot of help available to us, sites like this, places like gamblers Anonymous, counselling and more.
I am sure you will be reading a lot that you relate to on the other threads here. You will also be reading the success stories, what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
Where do you normally gamble? Get yourself banned.
Accountability for your money would be a good idea as well. Is there anyone who could help you with that?I know you have siad that the one thing you won’t do it tell family. You also write though that you are “drowning in secrecy” and that “…. anything’s worth a shot.”
If you can find the courage to tell someone then the best way to do it is to not just present the problem. You can show them by your actions how you are going to deal with the addiction.
Regarding the finances if the debts/bills are unmanageable then get some proper advice. As you are using £ I am guessing you are in the UK. You can get great free advcie for either the Citizens Advice Bureau or for StepChange. Try not to keep debts hidden as that in itself can send people gambling as they try and clear them.
Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.