Hi Pamred,
Well done on starting a thread – it is the most devastating feeling to know we have messed up due to gambling and find our minds completely absorbed by counting money and figuring out survival until we next get paid.
I find it helpful to think of the addiction as a sneaky, underhand, dishonest , manipulative person who lives in my brain. When urges to gamble come I think this is that “cow” trying get gambling into my life.
Everyone has to find their own way through the addiction -for example , there are people who go to GA and never gamble again after their first meeting and there are people who find GA really unhelpful.
What I found most helpful was the women’s short residential . It is a short stay away from your normal life and you learn so many strategies and tools which are helpful.
I hope you got that essay finished – what is your degree in ?
You can beat this and have a great life .