I too am the mom of a compulsive gambler. It is an awful addiction and am so sorry you have hit such a low… especially being the holidays.
I know this doesn’t sound very useful but if you guys can take a few deep breaths and a step back you will stand a far better chance of coming out the other side of this. As parents we get so wrapped up in trying to help and fix we take all the responsibility away from the addict. Your son certainly didn’t ask for this addiction , however, he is the only one who can work his recovery… while you guys work yours.
I know how difficult this is but there is no quick fix. Can you see if you can find a Gam Anon group you could attend for support. Knowing I was not alone was a true blessing to me.
Keep posting and try and enjoy the rest of your Christmas!
PS My son has left suicide notes and I have recently had him in emergency for cutting himself. You take threats of self harm seriously but ultimately there is precious little you can do:(
Take Care
Cathy