Hi Ray,
Welcome !! You are describing how many of us on here think. The dream ranges from all the people we will make rich , to the people we can’t wait to let see we have done well…yet while these people are doing just fine I am mending my old clothes and using black marker to cover the scuff on my boots!! Besides I have been so busy gambling for years i have lost touch with most of r them! When they met up I could never afford to go!!
The good news Ray is that once you have been gamble free for even a short while your self respect returns! You start to become interested in in other things! The wasted time cannot be returned but the lessons learned from it can enhance the time we have left and give us a real appreciation for the little things others take for granted!
Look up the support groups Ray and try to get to some of them. They are really helpful!!
Well done on writing your first post !I look forward to many more!!