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#6504
velvet
Moderator

Hi Seester
There is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty, your brother has a divisive, manipulative addiction and he needed you to believe his lies.
If it was not possible to control the addiction to gamble I wouldn’t be writing to you now. I am here because I know your brother can get better.
There is nothing you can do about his wife’s family refusing support his marriage – he might blame them but from what he said about ‘messing up and deserving it’ it suggests he has some sense of responsibility for his action and that is good.
It is a vicious cycle but he can climb out of it, he can control his addiction and live a good life but he has to want to do so.
Those who love compulsive gamblers often fear that they will sink to a terrible place but sadly bailing them out is not an answer. I am interested that he sent you a picture of a near accident which rather suggests he wants you to worry about him – this can lead to you wanting to enable him.
Look after you
Speak soon
Velvet