Hi Shelley
I sincerely hope it was not our hotline that gave dissatisfaction but please email in if this was the case, we will always take constructive criticism very seriously.
When a CG makes a positive step towards facing their addiction, as opposed to making promises to do so, it is always a massive step in the right direction. Promises are meaningless and are often churned out to gain time or side-step the issue. Making a positive move implies that the CG is accepting, or is capable of accepting, that their addiction is governing their behaviour and they want to take retake control of their own life.
It is by far from unknown that family members can keep CGs, who may want to change, locked in to their addiction by actively joining them in the gamble. You are very lenient in your criticism of his mother but by not begrudging him his visits you may possibly be giving him the support he needs. He has to open his own eyes; you cannot do it for him. and criticising a mother-in-law is difficult.
I don’t know if I have said this to you before but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know that the addiction to gamble can be controlled. We have many CGs on the site who control their addiction and who will offer your husband support as only another CG, who understands, can.
My CG, like Nomore’s hb would not enter a sweep stake or buy a raffle ticket. I remember we had a big discussion on the site once about ebay. My husband, who is not a CG sold a car on ebay and the excitement he displayed, as the auction came to an end, was enough to convince me that if he had been a CG his mind would have been totally out of control. Each CG in recovery has to make their own decisions but they do need the support and experience of others to help them.
You are doing well posting but you are not saying much about how you are doing and you are important. Living with the addiction to gamble takes away self-esteem and confidence. How do you feel ‘your’ recovery is going?
Keep posting
Velvet