#3396
jamesn
Participant

Hi Sherry,
Last week I saw my wife and she looks so sad and I was also wondering if I have tried hard enough in the last 10 years to help her. The thought that she might kill herself also crossed my mind. I think you [and I] have done everything we could already. Now I have to constantly remind myself that I have no control over any of this. I don’t think you have any control either. The only thing we can do now is to try to live a healthy life. I am sorry about the financial problems that you are facing. I wonder if you can declare bankruptcy where you live and start from scratch. My situation is not as dire but if I stay with my wife we could be in that situation at anytime. The first time I left my wife 4.5 years ago she also told me like what your husband told you. I was the only thing that kept her going totally out of control. However, the personal costs to me was tremendous. I lived in constant fear and anxiety of my wife gambling again, of not knowing how much debt we have, whether she is at work or at a casino, and calling her repeatedly to check where she is and if she doesn’t pick up the phone I would have a panic attack, I gave up my hobbies, friends and stayed home to “watch” my wife. I realized that it is not a healthy lifestyle. We made to many sacrifices already and it is time for them to be responsible for their own lives. I hope you stay strong and wish you the best.