It is heartbreaking but you know you did everything you could to help your husband and it is not your fault that he has made the decisions he has and you should not be made to feel guilty. I separated from my husband 3 months ago and am feeling just like you. I also feel guilty and receive text messages to make me feel guilty. I also worry he may suicide. It is unfair that despite walking away that our pain is still the same if not worse. Stay strong and cling onto why you walked away. I tell myself the same thing everyday.