Hi sjb
I am so pleased to see you have started your own thread – you did get a couple of replies when you posted on Ell’s thread but possibly you didn’t see them. It is good to know that you now have a place all of your own on this site.
You write that it is hard to attempt to tell others how difficult it is to live with someone with the addiction to gamble – I think it is almost impossible, which is why you are here and why you are understood.
I understand the relief coupled with guilt when the addiction leaves the home but I do urge you to leave guilt behind as it will slow the recovery you deserve. Recovery does hurt and it is hard but I hope you will be empowered by realising that by retaking control of your life, you have led the way and shown your husband that you will not be a victim of his addiction.
The knowledge that the heart will not heal the pain as it used to do is horrible – the decision you took to break away was not taken lightly. It is so easy to say ‘draw the line’ but when, where and how is impossible for another to determine. I believe it to be so for a CG (compulsive gambler) as well – crossing the line, letting go of the past and controlling the addiction to gamble takes great determination and courage and it seems to me your husband is not ready to take that leap of faith yet.
I would love to communicate with you in real time; the Tuesday group is at 10pm New York time. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum – you would be very welcome.
Given time you will find the validation that you need – recovery is not easy but it is the road to peace.
Velvet
