Hi Somni
It is so difficult when it is a parent that is not giving good guidance leaving children confused, not knowing where to go and struggling with shame.
We have a terrific member called Twilight and I am hoping she will pick up on your post soon – she is the adult daughter of a CG who was affected all her life by his gambling and denial of his gambling..
In the meantime – you are right not to give her money as she will almost certainly gamble with it or pay gambling debts both of which enables her addiction/problem to grow.
Your main thrust of concern appears to be that your sisters do not have a safe place to talk – they are feeling they cannot share their worries with other family members due to shame and embarrassment. The addiction to gamble thrives on secrecy – your mother ‘needs’ your sisters to keep her secret and yours sisters ‘need’ to talk. Is there an adult member of your family whom you could talk to on their behalf? Does your mother have siblings and would one of them be approachable?
Unfortunately the distortions she has created might have been believed by other family members but often/usually in my experience a lot more people are aware of the real problem (or at least a problem) than you think and they are possibly feeling much as you and your sisters are – if they don’t mention it then maybe it will go away because mentioning it opens a whole new can of worms.
Your mother’s denial of her problem isn’t helping her and is damaging her daughters – how old are your sisters? Maybe you could download the Gamblers Anonymous 20 questions and send them to her; you will find them on their website and let her see that you are seeking support even if she will not.
Your sisters would of course be welcome here and in the Friends and Family group which is private – they will be safe and nothing said in the group appears on the forums.
Keep posting Somni – you are understood here and I will do everything I can to support you.
Velvet
