Hi Stella
A mother/daughter relationship that is all anger sadness and fear is incredibly unhealthy.
You are trying to save your mother from her addiction and I am of the opinion that it is better to accept that you cannot save her but to know that you can save yourself, that you do not have to live in the shadow of someone else’s addiction.
Medication that is giving you unpleasant side-effects is not, in my view, the answer to your difficult situation. You have gone from one sad experience to another and that is enough for anybody.
Many years ago a friend was told to put her grossly obese mother on a diet, her mother was 84. I remember thinking that maybe at 84 she should be left to indulge herself rather than spend the rest of her life trying to lose the pounds but that was before I became a gambling addiction therapist. I do now believe that a person can change their life at any age but they do need support, however, I do not think that that support has to come from family members who are suffering too.
I hope that maybe you can separate yourself from your mother screaming at you – do you have to live her? I sense that the best way forward for you is to have time apart, time for you to refresh you battery, time for you to regain your health.
I have somehow overlooked you and for that I apologise so I am glad that ‘Go Blue’ has brought you to the top. You will see from her post that someone else is sharing the same pain that you are and I know from experience that that it is a big help knowing that you are not alone with your problem.
Velvet
