Hi Sunflower
Gamblers escape from reality when they indulge their addiction and of course, the reality of isolation is particularly difficult.
Did you hear the therapist say that compulsive gambling could be controlled by reduction or is this your boyfriend telling you what he wanted you to believe? When a compulsive gambler gambles his mind is excited the more he gambles and in my opinion only abstinence leads to recovery although abstinence, in itself, is not recovery. One or two days off and then a day being allowed to gamble is not disaster control – it is a recipe for disaster.
I feel very concerned about the way you are feeling. Feeling like a ghost in your own home, feeling as though you are being taken for granted, are not healthy feelings and your health is important. Your boyfriend can only make you feel like this if you allow him to do so, Sunflower because even if you don’t feel it, you are stronger than his addiction.
When things were ‘okay for a week or two’ how happy were you? If you were happy then maybe you could tell him that you want to feel that happiness again. Talk to him about the way it was, for both of you.
I cannot tell you what to do Sunflower, I know that the addiction to gamble breaks some relationships. Where do you see yourself if 5 months or even 5 weeks,? Decide what it is that ‘you’ want to and take control of your life.
How strongly do you feel that it would be better for you if your boyfriend lived away from you because even though it is very difficult at the moment, it might be worth looking for an alternative place for him? Many addicts do become homeless and the responsibility does lie with them if this happens. It is important not to threaten anything unless you are fully prepared to carry it out but if you really want a break from this behaviour then you should do what feels right for you.
Please keep posting – hopefully by keeping sharing your thoughts, you will be able to make the decision that is right for you and if it is right for you, it will probably be right for your boyfriend, even if it is tough.
Velvet
