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Hi Sunflower
I agree that the situation is not ideal but you have got your eyes open and I am hoping that that is enough to save you from being dragged down.
I am concerned that you are living in a state of anxiety which isn’t good but I believe I understand you.
I am really hoping that you will continue posting for your own sake and that you will focus on your own life as well as supporting your boyfriend.
Hopefully coronavirus will be reduced to something manageable soon and the world can return to some form of normality. I hope that the patience and fortitude that you are displaying at this really difficult time, will pay off for you.
I cannot stress strongly enough how important looking after yourself is at times like this. Please don’t let your boyfriend’s addiction cause you to stop seeing friends and enjoying hobbies and interests that please you. When you emerge from the lockdown, all the care you have taken of yourself will help you re-establish your life more easily.
If I thought for one minute that your boyfriend could not control his addiction I would not be writing to you, I know how lucky he is to have you standing by him but I also know the terrible heartache that can come from loving someone with this addiction.
Use this forum as a journal, it will help you to look back and see how far you have come and remind you what decisions you made along the way.
Speak soon, take care of yourself and keep safe