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Hi Three Times
I can only give you knowledge of the addiction – what you do with that knowledge as a result of what you learn, has to be in your hands but I will support you in whatever decision you make. A major part of ‘your’ recovery is to retake control of your own life. Your CG partner has been making poor decisions that have affected you and I suspect your self-esteem and confidence will have been shaken badly having been in this situation 3 times – it is time for you to look after youself.
I am sorry you are receiving threats of suicide, it is sadly not uncommon and of course it is the most frightening threat a CG can make, however, you cannot save your partner, only he can do that – just like you, he has to make his own choices.
I suggest it is an attempt to deflect from his poor behaviour when he accuses you of ‘screwing around’, you know the truth so please don’t let such lies stop you looking after yourself.
Were you able to download the Gamblers anonymous 20 questions? They do help CGs to recognise their problem whist hopefully letting them know that there is support for them. Perhaps you could ask him to look at the GA-20 questions when he is a better frame of mine such as when you have been out for a meal.
In my opinion you should not trust him at the moment, maybe you could ask him to start giving you receipts which is what many CGs do who recognise they have a problem.
I hope, from what you have written that you have support from your brother, sister and sister-in-law during this really tough time.
Your partner will almost certainly believe that his addiction will look after him so that leaves you without support from him – so please look after yourself first and keep posting.