Hi Tired,

I see you haven’t posted in a while but I hope you are still reading here. I myself am a Compulsive Gambler and I facilitate some of the scheduled groups here.

I am of the “Once an addict always an addict” opinion. I am a Compulsive Gambler and I will always be a Compulsive Gambler. That doesn’t mean that a CG always has to gamble though, we do have the ability to stop gambling while not being “cured”. I haven’t had a bet in some while now but I couldn’t stop on my own nor could I stay stopped on my own.

You mention your husbands GA meetings. It’s a shame they are no longer available but is he willing to use any other support? Has he seen this site? Considered counselling? Or anything else?

If not it’s unlikely he is going to stop on his own, infact as this is a progressive problem it is likely that things will get worse.

Whatever he does it is important, as Velvet will rightly tell you, that you focus on you. I’m glad to see you now consider these debts as his debts and his responsibility. What can you do to both keep it that way and make it clear to him that this is the case? How can you protect yours and family finances? What support can you use? It sounds like he wants you to keep things quiet for him? This can be part of a CG’s manipulation – talking to people would allow you to get support from your family etc so do the right thing for you. It would also of course make him less able to borrow money from those family members to feed his addiction.

I see the church and God are important to you. My own belief is that God is never likely to send us a burning bush or other such sign as a way to stop us gambling or “see the light”. What he might do is put a GA meeting in our area or guide us to a site like this. Then it’s up to us as to whether we use the support he has sent us.

I hope to see you posting again soon, I hope you use the support that you have here and elsewhere.