Hi Unlucky, welcome to the forum. I know how you feel. I really do. Hugssss. It’s so hard to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Zoning out at the casino gives us a break from our concerns and responsibilities. But for someone like us, who has become addicted to the fix we get when we slide the money into the machine and see it light up with credits to play, it creates worse chaos than that we are trying to escape. It’s hard to realize we are spending money our family could use for things like dental care, extras in the cupboard, or a family night.
As a nurse you must understand addiction and trying to make yourself feel better using outside stimulus like gambling or eating. You are just being human and trying to soothe your hurting. “evidence indicates that gambling activates the brain’s reward system in much the same way that a drug does.” This article from which I’ve quoted explains how gambling addiction is similar to drug addiction.
http://www.brainfacts.org/diseases-and-disorders/addiction/2015/gambling-addiction-and-the-brain
And as such, we go through withdrawal. Which is also talked about in the previous article but here is another article that puts in plain and to the point. https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm
It can be so hard to put the breaks on this. Think of the comps and your little secret cash stash as the drug required by an addict. You need to access it by putting it in a machine. And then the feel good chemicals flood your body. And your fix is complete until you run out of money or comps. Then the cycle of craving starts again.
When I first stopped gambling I couldn’t handle cash for a little while. I literally had a five dollar bill for a snack at work each day. I knew I would be too weak to walk around with my drug in my pocket. Before long I’d be looking for a machine to use it. But it was a starting point.
I wish you luck in perhaps banning from that casino. One step at a time. You can make a change and save yourself. Take care,
Laura