Hi V
Sorry to here of your latest words re- ‘screwed’…………
You are very hard on yourself – you had no idea that the first bet you had would lead onto something like this; how you are acting is not the real you, gambling brings alien emotions and reactions out of you; I think you feel emotional, fraught with worry, deceitful, dishonest, temperemental and more – You have made some very postive steps and you should be proud of yourself at this point, not ashamed. The next step is to get back on the proverbial horse and start again. I’ve said it many times before, you are a worldly wise woman who knows her own mind and all the triggers, I guess in your case i think its escapism. I know you have been fighting your tribunal and won, so take the positive from that ordeal and use it. You inspire many people on here. I count myself as fortunate to have come across you on this site and I know you are really frustrated and angry.
Its just a matter of never giving up. Once we are all gone from this mortal earth, we’ll probably wonder what all the nonsense was about chasing money and other false realities………….I hope so……………….
Take care