I decided to respond separately to every one today –
You can see from my post above that you are right – my CG has not tipped most of his illogical thoughts from his head. He is in CBT therapy 2x a week, and goes to meetings (either SA or GA) once a week. He is journaling and sleeping part from me. He calls me from the landline at work so i know he is at work and not the casino. So he is active in his recovery, but like you and others have said, it is a long, long road and we are not very far into it.
I found out about the gambling 6 months ago – the sex issue started in 2008, then “got better” mostly with meds (he is Bi Polar and ADHD) then reemerged when he stopped gambling – all the same additive process, different outlets.
I at this point, am trying to stay out of the way of his addictions. I am keeping myself safe, focusing on my kids and me and pointing out things my CG does when he does them so he can look at them.
I suggested maybe we should go for couples therapy – we have done this 1,000 times before, but who knows? maybe it could help.
Thank you for urging me on – thank you for understanding – and thank you just for being there.