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Hi Velvet,
Yes, that post was ancient and reading it again, just gave me goosebumps. How grateful I am that I am not in that situation anymore, that I have my life again. It is hard to even imagine where I would be if I had done nothing, if I had continued to allow the addiction to call the shots.
This year was very much a blessed year. Many good things happened and I feel myself grow and grow into the person I believe I was meant to be. Many relationships were rekindled because I wasn’t half-hearted into them like before; not sidetracked by my father and worries of his wellbeing.
I appreciate the little things more than ever and just having a relaxing afternoon with my mother is really a gift. I just love her so. My girls are growing up and they do press the issues at time, but I am good with boundaries now and they know I mean what I say. Yet, I am always telling them how much I love them and they do the same.
Saw Dad over Thanksgiving and just last week. He is doing well and is beyond thrilled that I come to see him. He always has to make it a point to tell everyone that I am his daughter, even though he announces this each time I go visit. He actually will say at the top of his lungs, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce my daughter…” I just wave at everyone and they smile. It is really sweet. I have come to know some of the residents. They too tell me that my father is telling them stories about me when I was a child.
We have conversations that really pull at my heart strings, these moments we have together are treasures, mostly in the garden. There are many times when I just look at him feeling utter emotional thinking how far he has come. He is not a slave to his addiction. He is not running all over town looking for money to gamble and people are not looking for him. I can’t help but think, if I hadn’t done the things that I did, both our lives would be worst off.
Either way I am thankful for everyone’s support here as it is what helped me gain strength and has become a springboard to my live. The baby steps I took led to giant steps and that led to my complete recovery.