Tried to get on for twenty mins and couldn’t, later I realised phone connection for internet was unplugged. I slept most of Xmas Eve I really am struggling and crying a lot again. I miss him so much V and keep thinking back to last Xmas, everyone seems so happy , while I feel so sad and lonely even though I have my girls and they’ve been great.
With my dad it was sort of connected to my CG , my girls felt I was neglecting them but it was grossly exaggerated and my dad wouldn’t discuss it, he’s a difficult man there’s no compromise with him ever. He stopped talking to my brother during my brothers chemotherapy for a brain tumor and only made up when I had to tell him my brother didn’t have long to live.
I love him dearly but tbh my step mum has always come first and it was my mother who was always my main source of support in tough times.
I really thought I had a lid on it but don’t really have any family to turn to. My best support is a lady who runs my church, speitualist, she’s old enough to be my mum and is always there for me. My girls love her too and we are going over there this evening. She is funny and daft and takes my mind off things.
I will def be on at 10 am I missed talking last night so much.
Love Neecy xxx