Thanks for keeping an eye out, this place is full of support, I shan’t be neglecting it again!
Yes it does change an awful lot… I stay with the fella most weekends anyway and some nights in the weeks when he’s not working away. I have never ever gambled when I’ve been with him or in his house… It’s like I feel more relaxed in his space than I do when I’m at my parents house. It sounds really odd but it’s like my parents house is already full of my secret sins. It’s tainted. It’s a place where I can self destruct and not really give a damn.
But when I’m at my fellas house it feels sin-free, innocent and full of hope. Untainted by my secret binges. I feel so much more comfortable there and happier with myself and who I am.
I never want that to change. I never want what I have got with him to change.