Hi Vera
I guess it is that thing in us that makes us want to please people – for example most of us when we think about great wins , we think about what we will get for other people, not ourselves.
I think there is something in many of that makes us feel that we are of less value than others- that they are more deserving of our money and nice things . Example – I bought Christmas complete outfits for those closest to me in M and S – I bought myself a top in Asda!
How much of our money do we spend on beautiful things for us – we tell ourselves we don’t need them, they don’t interest us while we buy lovely things for others – because they need them? Because they are interested in them?
I think maybe it is similar with lending others money on a regular basis. Some where deep inside us we maybe feel they deserve our money more or it makes us feel good to please them. I guess it is also because we don’t really value money In the way others do.
Whatever our motivation it is good that you have said no and that you have closed the door on this part of your life- you have said that handling all that cash has often been a trigger for gambling urges.
Well done Vera – 2019 will be fantastic !