Hi Zjola and welcome to the forum.
Yes, I can certainly remember that feeling – they had my money, I certainly wanted it back!
What that meant in practice though was of course me giving them more of it!
Sometimes the best thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is…. stop digging. This is a progressive addiction, carry on gambling and things will always get worse. Even if we do “win” our money back then it’s only a matter of time before we quite willingly give it back to them.
Read some of the other stories here, you wil see a lot of things you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
As you gamble online a good first step would be to get a blocker for your PC, it will stop you visiting any gambling site online.
Is there anyone close to you who could help you by holding your credit cards and cash for a while? Accountability is also a good barrier.
Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.