#1305
velvet
Moderator

HiShelly
It’s good to hear from you again but sad to see that your husband still seems hell bent on feeding his addiction.
Does he have to go to Las Vegas or did he volunteer? A CG in control of his/her addiction would not risk themselves in the gambling city of the world.

In reality I think it is best to doubt and not trust when there are so many on-going broken promises but the nightmare can end and that choice lies with your husband.

I appreciate you love your husband but that does not mean you have to love his addiction and you can say ‘no’ to it. Saying ‘no’ is difficult but when put yourself first it is not impossible. You cannot make your husband stop gambling but when you put yourself first and learn to love yourself you become a more formidable enemy to his addiction.

You asked your husband if he thought he was a CG and he said ‘yes and then you asked if he wanted to change and he said ‘yes and this was probably completely true. When you asked him if he meant it forever, he gave you an honest answer when he said ‘no’. Forever is – well it is for ever and CGs struggle with the enormity of it. I did too when I realised my CG had to give up his way of life forever.

Your husband is not really accepting he has an addiction –if he did he would not test it with scratch cards. You said he had approached a helpline but hadn’t got the support he needed and I did say that if it was this site that had failed him we would want to know. If you ask the question again ‘do you want to change?’ and he says ‘yes’ then let it be known that it is only one day at a time and nobody will ask him for anything more. We all need hope – controlling this addiction takes an enormous amount of courage and determination. The support is there for him and you will support him the best by looking after you first and foremost because he needs to see that you are strong.

Being here and listening is the easy bit. Looking after yourself with an addiction in your life is hard but you can do it and we will walk with you every step of the way while you try.

Pop into a live group sometime and chat in real time. At the moment we have 3 Friends and Family Only groups and the times can be found when you click on ‘Support Groups’ at the top of this page. It would be good to meet you.

Velvet