How could you trust someone who not only lies to you, but also abuses you Madge?
I think the question, I would be asking if I were in your shoes is ,
“Can I trust myself”?
You need to trust your own judgement as to why you stay in this marriage, and find out if fear of what will happen if you leave (or ask hubby to leave) is keeping you there. Fear is the opposite to Love!
You have been undermined and intimidated in many ways. When a CG carries traits like manipulation, control and disrespect into the wider ares of his/her life, I think it is time for the “victim” to ask the question, “Can I ever trust myself to have an intimate relationship ( emotional/psychological/sexual) with this person ever again.
Maybe when you figure out the answer to that question you may be able to forgive and move on.
In my case I know my gambling stems from not being able to trust others OR MYSELF!
Just some food for thought Madge.
Life is complex. I will pray for the gift of Wisdom for you!