How foolish was I thinking he’s fighting the addiction. Out of the blue he got a phone call and after that was a bit exited looking for paper work, documents. He’s took out 400 loan from provident. They came to the house when I was out and signed the agreement and gave him cash. I found out after reading his email. He’s lied saying next week they’ll bring cash but I’ve read the email and when he was sleeping I felt notes in his pocket. So I knew he’s not telling me the truth. He must have applied for it ages ago online and now they rang him. And what a surprise he’s been upstairs laying under blanket for the whole day following the busy evening on the computer. He said if it will make me happy he will cancel it next week when they come for the repayment. Does he think I’m that stupid that I’m gonna believe him. And then he said until all the money are transferred to his account he’s gonna do what he wants. But who’s gonna trust him to do that? Then he argues he can’t show he is responsible cuz hasn’t got access to money. So many confused messages from his mouth. I am so confused what to do, what to say and how to speak to him. I know there is only chance for him if only he wants to change himself and I won’t be able to change him but how long is it gonna last? There was a time when he admitted he needs to change and he did it for few months but now he’s forgotten about that. And he doesn’t wanna hear anything to do with professional help and meetings. Such a rollercoaster.
