I enjoyed reading your long post Lauren.
Sorry to hear you lost your dad to cancer in 2009. My sister died in 2009 . She too had cancer. She was almost ten years my senior but I was probably closer to her than other family members in many ways. She was a very distant person. Spent a lot of her time reading and painting. Life drawing and music were her favourite pastimes. She lived a frugal life in many ways but travelled a lot and enjoyed nice things. She knew about my gambling but in her innocence she offered me 20k when she heard I was in debt. Little did she know I had lost ten times what she offered. Thank God I didn’t take it. Her anniversary is tomorrow. June 3rd. We went to the Isle of Wight last year in her memory.
It seems your son was very shocked by his grandfather’s death, Lauren. Did he have Grief counselling? Sometimes it helps but we still have to go through the stages alone, sooner or later. Was it after his death that your gambling escalated? I hope your son will recover from that accident. He seems to be a real warrior and a fit and determined guy. That experience with a 14 year old girl could have ended in tears. Does he forgive you for not allowing him to return to the UK? It couldn’t have been easy on him going back to his father after all those years. It seems you gave him a great life. Compared to you Lauren I have lived a very mundane life. Gambling provided some excited until it threw me into serious debt and it sure didn’t help my health.
I spent today baking. My friend is coming to visit tomorrow so I wanted to make an effort for her, even though she wants to avoid rich food and is always trying to lose weight. She is only about size 10 but has three adult daughters so competes with their slim figures. She also knows about my gambling history but would have absolutely NO tolerance for what she sees as selfish indiscipline. I avoid the issue now because when her son told me he goes to a casino I mentioned to her that it could be the ruination of a young person she lost her head and said “not every one who goes to a casino is a compulsive gambler”! Sometimes it’s best to say naught!
I’m glad you are considering taking a break in NI, Lauren, to include your friend’s graduation.
I’m sure he will be very pleased! When is it?
Google Lapwing Publications and you might look them up when you visit.
Bedtime for me now. I have eaten far too much today. Everything I do has a compulsive trait. A friend (ex work colleague) was texting me earlier to say she is not feeling well and intends calling in sick tomorrow and wishes she could come and stay in my house. I know she would not fit in with my visitor tomorrow, so instead of doing what I would have done in the past I told her “sorry, it’s too far to drive to collect you and I’m driving a rented car”! I felt a bit selfish turning my back on her but she can be VERY draining.
Now I feel guilty for saying that!
Nite Lauren!
God bless!
