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I have felt sick over my losses too. I have felt like throwing up. I have felt like giving up altogether, but I know that is a corwards way out and I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone anymore than I may already have. 

In the past few days I have really been coming to terms with the fact the money is gone. If I accept it is gone, then there is nothing there to chase. 

My triggers are bordem and having too much cash on me so I am trying to fill my time with constructive things and limiting the amount of cash I have on me. I too have used my line of credit, credit cards, etc. but I am sure less tempted if I don’t have any cash to start with. 

It sounds silly but I don’t want to gamble unless I have minimum $2000 to go with because I want to win big, so you need to bet big. That’s why I am in the hole I am in. 

My story might be a bit different because I still have some money left but the pain I have felt from it is the same. The stupid things I have done in order to gamble ar the same. I’ve lied with a straight face many times. Stolen from people I love.

I know I am better than this. I can do better. I want better for myself. Those are the reasons I am working on my recovery now. I think we have to find our reasons. 

Take care today. We all make mistakes. It’s not over yet. PLEASE don’t gamble today and I will promise you I won’t either.