I accidentally saved without completing! I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, he went to prison 3 month in to our relationship he never asked me to hang around or wait for him and we never knew he would get as long as he did. I stayed loyal throughout it was really difficult but i loved him. I was unaware how serious gambling actually was and had been warned to stay away as he was quite bad on the roulette. This wasn’t enough to keep me away, I didn’t really understand what it meant to have a gambling problem. When he came out things got serious quite quickly but it wasn’t long before he showed his true colors. At first I took it quite personally and it affected my health and well being. I thought it was me and with the gambling came lies and deceit. We managed to get passed a lot and as I took his stresses on as my own I was on a mission to help him. We have never really done nice things on my birthday or been to nice places or created memories cos of gambling. His first year out of prison was an absolute nightmare, socializing with criminals, still committing crimes to gamble, we were constantly arguing and I am surprised we made as far as we did. He always promised he wanted to change and I have seen gamble from £100’s to now £1000’s at a time. We went to GA a year ago and he immediately said it wont work! He is selfish, lacks ambition and has been totally sucked in by his gambling problem. He has come from a very good background his parents are separated but have made sure they stayed together for him. He has not made a conscious effort to change his habits and behavior. He has stolen from his mother, friends and probably me. He seems like he doesn’t even want the help and at times shows as if he is in-denial. He is convinced he can beat the bandit and do it alone and refuses to accept help. He makes endless promises and hurts everyone around him but to people that don’t know him he acts the martyr. Yet I still love him, i don’t doubt he loves me but i know he isn’t what i need or want and he really needs to focus on himself. I try to leave him but he always comes back and I let him after we have cooled down. He has periods where he is motivated and doesn’t gamble or commit crimes and looks after himself. It is always inconsistent but he is truly loving and caring. 2days ago we agreed I would help him to manage his money, he is in untold amounts of debt that he doesn’t want to payoff! and yesterday he asked me for £70, I refused to give it to him as I knew he had an urge to gamble. I sent him £20 for a few bits. I returned from work, he arrived an hour later, immediately I knew he had been gambling he demanded £400 of his money and became very aggressive. I gave in and I knew I shouldn’t have but I honestly have had enough nor did I have the patience with all his threats. I went out and within an hour he called and said he wanted the rest of his money! He threatened to kick my door in. I was scared but believed he wouldn’t I returned home let him in he trashed my flat, looking for his money and then we got in to a physical fight he didn’t hurt me but I have never seen him so angry calling me names and throwing things at me. I gave him the rest of his money and asked him to leave. He called gain at 3am demanding I give him the rest of his money as he had nowhere to sleep and needed money for a hotel in total he had received £1200 there was no more money left so he threatened me with suicide. I sent him £100. I have no intention to enable him and understand how it can come across but what do you do in that scenario? the state he was in anything is possible and I don’t want that on my conscious. I haven’t heard from him and as far as I am aware we are over. I do still love him but whilst he has a gambling problem I can’t be with him, not any more. How can I stay strong now?
