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I Ican, thank you for your super reply on my thread.
I love how you completely “get” what I am saying .
It’s like with kids – you stick a label on them and they will sure try to live up to that label be it good or bad.
I have worked hard to teach my son that labelling people is wrong whether it’s according to their skin colour, their abilities or lack of them, how they dress, what part of town they come from, what disabilities they have either physical or mental, whether they have a mental disorder (like gambling!!) etc.
I guess if we want the world to be a better place we need to start with ourselves.
I have watched some of Loius Theroux shows and if you need more evidence of the of the impact of labelling , that would be a good place to start.
Unfortunately some people refuse to try new ways, because in doing so it might mean they had to admit that they got things wrong in the past .
It is safer for them to cling steadfastly to their old ideas where they are “right” rather than learn how they could have done better. This is why progress is so slow in this world.

Anyway we are both doing well in managing this gambling disorder which we have.
I guess that just as we clung to gambling in the past , despite the damage it did to our loved ones, some peope, need to cling to damaging labels despite the damage it is doing to their loved ones.

You can stick a plaster over a damaged relationship, you can pretend everything is suddenly fine because that loved one has changed some aspect of their behaviour,but if you refer to your loved ones by a disparaging label, please accept the blame when the plaster falls off .

You and me , we will do ok, cause you know what , our loved ones call us their “LO”. ( loved one !!!!)