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I thought, wow this person is doing great and talking a lot of sense. Especially the part about dopamine release and rewiring the brain I agree with a lot. I didn’t agree with you about GA and the confessional relapse thing you mentioned. I go to GA meetings regularly and get a ton out of it, so I’m biased in that regard. But I did notice, as you mention yourself, that you got a bit too cocky about your recovery, which isn’t unusual for us addicts, and it made me worry for your future gf. And unfortunately, I was too late to comment on this matter. I know you feel like shit right now, but don’t discard the progress, the experience, and the lessons from your gf days and this relapse that you will and have learned. As you say yourself, everyone relapses every once in a while, it’s not different from cheating on your diet. One time is not going to throw away the results. So get back up and continue the fight. Continue staying busy, continue doing what’s good for you, but don’t forget your roots, where you came from. By the same train of thought, don’t forget that you are a compulsive gambler. That’s mainly why I go to GA meeting. I know from my own experience that I tend to forget my roots, whenever I don’t feel the effects from my last relapse, and let everyday life take my focus. Oh, and if you didn’t insist on keeping this from your friends or whatever, then maybe they could have stopped you or wouldn’t have invited you to a place with slots. And if they still would invite you, well then they don’t have your best interest and then they don’t qualify as friends. It’s your call, but I used to feel the same way, but 3 months ago I decided to come clean, and I have since then been getting their support at least a couple of times at times where I really needed it.
Berta, I’m sure you are gonna come back even stronger, I wish you well, and I look forward to reading about your progress once in a while.

– Chris