I know what you are saying and I agree. The truth is, do we want to be free of this addiction and move on in our lives. I have wreaked so much damage in just 3 years. It has taken over my life to such an extent that I cannot wait to be free of all of this and be at GMA where I can come to terms with what I have done. I am now in a race against time to make this happen. Is my company insolvent or can I fix it? Will the creditors give me time? Is it worth fixing? Will I win this contract again? Will my head ever be clear and free of this mess? Not until I clean up the mess one way or another and the same is true of you. You need to clean your mess up so that when you go to GMA you can make the most of it.
I really urge you to go to GA. I have made many friends there and I can text them their advice, especially people who have been free of gambling for many years. I know a guy who wrecked his company as well as he has been offering advice, especially when it comes to the mental state of things.
I have been walllowing in self pity for so long it has become a default mode – why did I do this, why didn’t I do that etc etc These are questions I will answer, and more in treatment. What are my failings – laziness, leaving things to chance, not planning.
You take care
Mav