I now know he Is safe, working, have no idea wether he is gambling or seeking any help ….I think it called escape gambling by some … I now realise he put stratigies in place to protect me and himself right from day one … ie no bills in his name, no access to my bank acc/no joint acc, transfer nearly all his money across to me .. debt not huge just not huge …but I am unemployed/benifit. He has never said he dosent love me …just that I am better off with out him … I do understand some of the self esteme issues as he has always put himself down .. I support, encourage to build him up …. I know I cannot fix it or him … I understand I need to look after myself and be positive about me …. thank you once again … telling it helps me put things into perpective …. I feel calm and strong , peacefull … just sooo tired … I realise I felt the fear I what I might cause … but I did it any way, for me .. I needed to reach out and touch him with the txt ..offer an opening I no he may or may not take up , no other real expection of him … I cant let his problem stop me from doing what I feel I need to do for me .. I have 2 friends who support me, the rest have vanished lol .. my family think Im nuts lol , councilor Gam anon is very supportive altho not here to talk alot ….