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#38456
Monica1
Participant

Thanks for your posts Vera and Geordie. Vera, I had to laugh as there is still a massive crack down the side of the bath from a previous project. Heaven forbid I ask,when it is going to be repaired. Well, before my last relapse when my job ended I had sufficient to do what I would,do,if I had money. I would go to a spa for two weeks. But at my last relapse I wanted to end my life, I was very sick with the addiction and even when I won three times in the same session, I played it to 0 deliberately. When I say I spoke to soon, the doorbell,just went, either debt collectors or bailiffs. Did not respond and they have gone away. No, I did not do what I said I would. I have been awake only around six hours in the past 24. I have just put a wash on and also exchanged texts with my sponsor and am meeting him before the GA meeting tomorrow. Note I had breakfast at 2.30pm. The hospital called and I have to call them back. They act very quickly if they think you may have cancer. I will ring them tomorrow. Vera, what I had today was the council tax forms to fill out and rake to the council. I he always found it difficult,t to do and face this. A part of me just goes f the bills, f this culture that makes people worry continually about paying the bills. This comes from years and years of debt. I could ha e started to address it years ago, ha e tried and failed many times. My sister did an Iva years ago after her husband spent their savings on internet porn. You have to laugh at all this really. She never forgave him, they lost their house and now life in rented accommodation, but in the country, a little cottage just like where we were brought up. Rickety stairs and range fire. I can only do small things and write down each week,what I want to achieve. Even the smallest thing carries over into the next week. A friend texted me and I prayed for her sister who has cancer and she prayed for me. An old work colleague but we have been friends for a long time and we know each other’s lives. She was unemployed for 10 months as the market for what we do has totally crashed. She is now working and happy in it. So that it what i have done thus far. The dog sits with me a lot in my bedroom. He runs and hides under my bed when Pete comes in as he is sensitive to grumpy but likes me cos I love him and am kind to him. Drives pete bonkers, says I am way too soft. He is way too grumpy so I balance it. Well that is my day so far. Thrilling, not!