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I think it is normal to feel apprehensive when we are asked to leave our Comfort Zone, Charlster.
Stripping your life bare and hoping for a good outcome is not an easy thing to do. It took a lot of courage, trust and hope on your part to get to where you are today. I think most CGs feel shaky and nervous when we discard the gambling crutch. It is like Rip van Winkle wakening from a hundred year sleep and seeing Life all over again.
The only alternative for you would be to throw in the towel Charlster and after all your intense preparation, that would be totally futile. Just try to fix your mind on today only. One hour at a time. None of us can tell what the future holds but knowing you have set your feet in the right direction means there is no turning back now. Everybody here will be rooting/praying for you Charlster. My guess is you’ll be a future facilitator on GT.
I will tell you a story (just to add to your fear!!) I remember packing a case for my son to go on a summer camp when he was 8 years old, A clean rig out for every day rom the skin out. Everything matching. He was rigidly counting the pairs of socks to make sure he had enough for every day…Long story short , on his arrival, the older boys shook the contents of his case into a swamp and pushed him in after it. I don’t know how the child every recovered from such a dreadful ordeal but to this day it breaks my heart to think I sent him away thinking he would be safe!
Lock your case and keep you key hidden Charlster!!!