Bravo for having the courage to post on this site. I cried as I read your postings and responses – so similar to some of my own. My CG is an engineer also and I know all that brings with it – My CG likes the thrill of card counting at Blackjack bc he has such a brilliant mind he uses it to try and “beat the house” and feel superior at the same time. I also understand not knowing if you love your wife anymore – I have been with my CG for 20 years and I feel the same way. The children make it hard to leave of course, but beyond that it is hard to feel you love someone who has betrayed you, lied to you and makes you feel like you are wrong when it is them that is doing the harm. I hope this makes sense. I just wanted to say I hear you, I resonate with much that you said and that you have found a wonderful forum to get out many feelings you might have.
I have found this site as a haven for me and many times it really has kept me going…just one more day. Im hardly in a position to give advice but many wise people here told me to look after myself and my kids. You can offer you CG the gambling literature, hotlines, GA etc but it is ultimately up to them to take advantage of these things. My CG also says that the people in GA don’t have anything in common with him and he is “not like them” (yeah, for 3 years he ditched work, and ran off to the casino during the day and weekends, lying to me, our families and kids the whole time) – yeah, he is nothing like other gamblers, right??
I also agree with Velvet that if you don’t know what to do remain still until you feel like you have found the right decision – It sounds like you have been thru a lot of trauma in this relationship and being still and quieting your mind will hopefully help you see clearly what needs to happen. I hope I have been helpful. I will think of you and send good energy your way. Love that little baby of yours – time is precious and they grow up way too fast. Blessings,