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I wont make excuses for your husband but his story is similar to mine with the exception of being a alcoholic I have been violent towards my wife I say this with shame
All I can say is this he is ill and with out treatment he will stay ill. My wife gave me a second chance after two years of separation I was the loneliest saddest man in the world in My eyes anyway no friends no family gambled them all away
If your Husband wont get help you need to walk away.
Not something I say lightly considering I am gambling again And will lose my family again if I don’t stop.
Try to get him to read the posts on this site it really does help.