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Hey P,
as you described how you felt at the time of your last relapse, oh my G, that was how I felt after I had relapsed for 9 months, although I don’t know if I was really in a recovery, more of a surgery imposed hiatus. When I went back it was with a vengeance. I felt all those feelings during that. All of them, feeling insane, suicidal, worthless, ugh. And to see Kathryn’s post to you, about time missed with children. I can try and kid myself but I did miss time with my kids. We can say oh I don’t gamble unless they are at a friends or their dads or day care or whatever. But the messed up parent they get to spend time with, the robot with the smile as you describe, robs them too 🙁 So I’m thrilled that you posted your thoughts, from a to z, it helped you, me, and I’m sure a lot more who read it. Post away my lovely “crazy” friend! xo have a great day, Laura